Pot Noodle World Cup - part 2

Samyang - 60 Ingredients
South Korea
(sachets - 1)

The Koreans got special dispensation to have two entrants in the 2010 Pot Noodle World Cup, largely because it’s a fictional competition. As such, Samyang’s ’60 ingredient’ flavour variety surprises with its sheer amount of ingredients. The packaging shows broccoli, onion, sesame powder, a carrot, mushroom, garlic, leek, paprika, radish, pak choi, oats (WTF?), chilli powder and a pollack - but that’s just thirteen ingredients. In fact, I’m having trouble just thinking of another 47 ingredients off the top of my head. And because the only other English words on the packaging are ‘MSG’ and ‘well-being’, for or all I know there could be roasted armadillo, prune ice cream, parrots' feathers and bee spit in there. Whatever it is, tastes pretty good.

7/10 - Hot noodle.

Pot Noodle - Doner Kebab
England
(sachets - 1 ‘chilli soss, my friend’)

The English have had doner kebab grease (and weak lager) running through their veins for centuries, so this pretty little pot had me roaring ‘God Save The Queen’ - out of tune and with the wrong words - until my thyroid went wonky. I was revived, briefly, by the comely aroma, but I’m afraid the words ‘soya pieces‘ and ‘doner kebab’ should never occupy the same packaging. It’s either the eyelids, testicles, lips and chest-warts of a 39-year-old sheep with scrapie, and a bit of cat, or nothing at all, OK Stavros?

4/10 - Gruel Britannia.